


Happy Tales

by St_Happosai



Category: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-27 05:39:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13874307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/St_Happosai/pseuds/St_Happosai
Summary: Happosai's fiascos





	Happy Tales

Xian Pu was in hell. First off, her certain victory half a year ago in the Amazon fighting tournament had ended in disaster as a young, red-haired female contender had come out of nowhere, literally, as she wasn’t in the contest, and kicked her ass. Xian Pu had ended up having to hunt the buxom redhead all the way to Japan, where she ended up giving a Kiss of Marriage to a male martial artist, then learned that the redhead and the black-haired boy were one and the same, which complicated her life enormously. Being unable to figure out what to do, Xian Pu had returned to the Josetzuko, where I began to re-train her. Since then, she has complained constantly that this young man was stronger than any of the Amazon warriors. Nevertheless, I trained her.

“<Honored Grandmother, I am strong enough. Even if I weren’t, no one uses the Jusenkyo Training Grounds! Not since the Amazon Li Jien turned into a cockroach and was stepped on!>”

“<Xian Pu, first off, that’s just a myth.>” A lie. “<Second off, this boy was an exceptional martial artist, and cursed by Jusenkyo. Therefore, he has learned the advantage of gaining diverse experience. And third, once you are cursed once, the other curses take no effect on you, so we just need to dip you in the Spring of Drowned Girl, and you will be immune to the curses.>” Another lie. The curses mixed. Not that I expected to have any trouble with the Jusenkyo curses. Xian Pu always had excellent balance, and should have been able to stay atop the bamboo poles. Or so I thought.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Elder Ku Lon of the Josetzuko tribe, the Chinese Amazons. I had no idea that this little fiasco with an errant husband would turn into an adventure unlike anything in my 503 years of life.

Not allowing for further argument, I hurried to the Jusenkyo Training Grounds, Xian Pu following me reluctantly. The Amazons of the Josetzuko tribe tend to be a superstitious bunch, and not without good reason. All of our Elders, myself included, as well as most of our more experienced warriors are masters of Chi, and thus, our village tends to draw attention of spirits, such as Din Bidar Axorat, the Plague Wolf, or Mao Mao Lin, the Haunted Cat. Curses and such are part of our lives. Even so, Jusenkyo is a favorite for ghost stories and such.

As we approached, Xian Pu and I beheld the legendary Training Ground of a Thousand Curses, the Birthplace of Tragedies, Jusenkyo, along with the Guide’s hut. The Guide is a strange creature, human looking yet immortal. He has watched over Jusenkyo since the time of my own Great-great Grandmother, rest her soul, and will probably continue to watch over the cursed pools until the rest of the world crumbles to dust around him. In short, he is a guardian _Seishin_ , born to watch over Jusenkyo to prevent more tragedies from spawning. Unfortunately, he is not particularly competent, as a tale that reached me of an old man about a foot tall bathing a newborn in one of the springs, and thus cursing him to transform into a monster from birth. To top it all off, the old pervert named the baby _Pantyhose Tauro_ of all things!! Come to think of it, that sounds like a man I knew 485 years ago, Happosai by name, who would do _exactly_ that. If that was him, the guard can’t be blamed for failing to prevent that one. That short, perverted son of a bitch is slippery as hell, and the guide probably didn’t get within grabbing distance until it was too late, understandably, and even if he had, Happy excels at bouncing out of one’s reach and landing on one’s ass (if the person is female) before (sometimes) bouncing away again, often with the female’s undergarments in hand. Like I said, the guide can’t be blamed if he had to deal with the shit.

“<Xian Pu,>” I said, leaping out onto one of the bamboo poles, balancing on the pole on my staff. “<I will retrain you from the beginning. Now, begin.>”

She leaped out to one of the poles, and we began to spar, trading blows and trying to knock each other off the poles, me only half-heartedly. After an hour of training, I decided to make my move. Executing a particularly uncouth series of moves, I kicked my Great-Granddaughter into the Pool of Drowned Cat. As expected, the now-feline emerged quite furious at me, and launched at me, hissing and spitting. The battle resumed, with me now deflecting her back to the bamboo poles with my staff. I defeated her, and brought the unconscious feline to the Guide, where he poured hot water on her, transforming her back into a human. We then went and dunked the still-unconscious girl in the Pool of Drowned Girl, ensuring that the cat would be female when she had to transform. The chill revived her, and I dragged the once-again-feline over to the guide’s hut and he transformed her into a girl once more. One explanation on her curse later, the two of us set out to convince the wayward Husband that he was to join the tribe of the Jozetsuko Chinese Amazons.


End file.
